Spring

So I hate winter I mean I really really hate winter. I do not like the snow and I really do not like the cold. Then wonderful spring rolls around and bring with it allergies that make me want to crawl into my bed overdose on Benadryl and wake up when it is summer. But then again I am allergic to grass and I will curse you each and every single time that you mow your lawn. Really I will have some pretty intense feelings of hatred that will be floating in your direction. While I was outside being attached my all the allergies I took this picture and I love it. Isn't she cute?? It reminds me that while Spring makes my eyes water and my throat swell and snot some out of places that it should not come out of, that it is a time for new beginning. Beautiful little things reappear that have been hiding for months. Some my wonderful tulips will return and after them My garden will appear and I will be so very excited. I am having more fun everyday playing with my camera and figuring out how to use the thing. What ever happened to just taking a picture?? Oh but the many things that you can do now and so much fun.

Why I Run

While I was running this weekend, and I use the term running loosely, I thought why do I do this to myself. Granted I do enjoy a good run, I love how it feels and I enjoy the time to clear my mind and push myself physically. But what gets me to lace up my shoes?

Well what makes me put on my brace, my compression sleeves, then my shoes? I look like a real circus act when I go running. I feel bad for the people that are willing to go run with me. 

I do not run outside in the cold. That would be crazy. No cement under my feet here.

I run for my kids. I run for the life that I want to live not watch pass me by. I want to run on the beach, play soccer at the park, chase my kids down when they run away. I never want my lack of dedication to my physical health to hold me back. 

I have some physical limitations. I can’t do everything that someone else can do. I can do it in my way to my potential. That is all I expect from myself, a dedication to my physical health so that I can live life and play with my kids. 

Running is a sport I love. I won’t say that it is a “fun” sport or something that doesn’t come with some injuries. As my awesome Physical Therapist said, “If you keep running I am sure to see you again.” It is a sport that clears my mind, fills my soul and body with good feelings and strength. I am glad that after so many years I started running again. I am grateful for the life that it has given me and the life in turn that I can give to my husband and kids. It’s just a bonus that because I wear compression sleeves I don’t have to shave my legs first.

Choices

So years and years ago I was graduating from college. I wasn't married and wasn't really in a serious relationship. It was one of the scariest things to me. Not that I wasn't married but that I was done with school and I had no one but myself to decide where I wanted to go and what I wanted to do. When I went to college I was underage and I had two choices of where to go. Stay home or go with my sister to where she was. I chose to go away. So this was the first time that I ever really felt like I could go anywhere and do anything.

I did get married and supported him through grad school. So with that we went where he needed to go for school, and where he got a job after school. Things kind of have just moved along without much effort on my part for the last 11 years. One job lead to another we moved but not very far from where we lived before. Life has been pretty regular.

Then BAM! Time for something new. The husband and I have talked about how we need to make a move. How we need to find a new job and move forward in his career path. I am blessed to get to stay home with the kids so it has been my job to help prepare them for the next step in our families journey. Thing is, we still don't know where that step will lead us.

This takes me back to the scary feelings that I had as a young adult leaving college. We have looked at jobs all over the country. Applications have been put in at all kinds of companies, cities, towns, states, so many places so many choices. I am a bit of a planner. I like to research things and be prepared for when they happen. The last few weeks I have been trying to let go of that. There are too many choices, too many places that we have the possibility of going. As an LDS person I believe that the Lord has a path and a plan for us. I have been trying so hard to figure out what that next step is and where it will be.

What I have learned from these two adventures? One that isn't near over yet. Well, I have learned that it rarely works out like you think that it will. Then all that planning and all that control that you thought you have go flying out the window. When the timing lines up and things work out, it is so much better than you ever could have imagined. The road there is often really hard. I have been so frustrated and down the last few weeks. I have reminded myself of that young college graduate and how the choices I made led me to the most wonderful man and the most wonderful career I could have ever hoped for. So for now, I will keep the faith, do my part, and repeat in my head over and over, "Be still and know that I am God."