Confessions

I confess:

• Sometimes the kids don't get a bath every week.
• Yes I know it is gross and sometimes their hair will stand up all by itself.
• Don't call me into the authorities. Please =)
• Sometimes I only shower a couple of times a week.
• I just got smart enough to take off the toilet paper before I get in.
• The baby thinks that is the best thing to do while I shower.
• You can only sacrifice so many rolls in the name of cleanliness.
• My van is totally gross.
• I did wash the outside today so people could stop telling I am gross.
• Really you could live off the food on the floor.
• Took a whole bag of garbage out of it once.
• How do people keep their vans clean?
• I gave up on the no eating in the car rule.
• Too much trouble.
• So I confess I am disgusting.
• Go ahead and judge me and leave feeling better about yourself.
• I am a giver!

Modern Torture

That is sooo not me. Anyone else out there really upset with what their body has become. I love these blessed children but is all the wear on me really necessary? Let's just be honest. I think I must be shaped weird. I might have the legs of a giraffe. I guess since I can't find jeans that cover my ankles. Or an inseam that is longer than an inch and a half. Does that really warrant the use of a zipper. So frustrated, just need a pair of jeans that don't make me look like a hooker. I also don't want to look like one of those people that think they should wear the same jeans as their twelve year old. Just nice cute jeans. GRRR. Nothing like a shopping trip to make you feel really bad about yourself.

On another torture note, my little one got an expanding retainer. They turn this key to make her arch in her mouth wider and make room for her teeth. She got one on the top and one on the bottom. It is not fun. She has been a crying mess since Friday. Refusing to eat or drink or talk. Just grunting and crying. Did I mention that the husband in not here. Nope he is off with work. If she isn't better by Monday I am having them take them out. I mean how long can they expect us both to deal with this torture??

Friday Confessional

I confess:

• Yesterday I was super healthy
• Breakfast was a banana smoothie.
• I stole the banana out of my daughters lunch box.
• I might have a pattern of taking food from kids.
• I had a donut for lunch.
• A cupcake and burrito for dinner.
• I have a theory with cupcakes.
• You have to eat them all at the same time.
• Then they are gone and the temptation is over.
• Who knew you could eat an entire cake at one sitting.
• Cupcakes seem like so much less cake.
• OK. I did share. It was little ones first birthday after all.
• My kids all look totally different.
• People are always asking if the are adopted.
• Um, your business??
• If they are calling me mom at the store and climbing all over me and not listening, do you really have to ask if they are all mine?? DO YOU REALLY???
• I might be bitter.
• Yes I think I am.
• This might be a bi-weekly thing.
• I have too many naughty things to share!!!