Vent

Do you ever feel like if you don't vent you might explode??? I'm having that feeling today. I am so in need of a vacation from everything. Am I the only one that ever feels like that? I'm super sick of throwing up everyday and not being able to eat more then a birds serving of food at a time. It really isn't so much fun. I'm not having fun waiting to get sick. I get really bad kidney troubles and I know that sometime in the next 8 or so weeks, I will be sick and not feel good at all. Just imagine feeling like your head is going to explode and that your body is shutting down on you. That sounds like a fun time doesn't it??

I've had some breakdowns lately with people that are supposed to love and support me. They aren't, enough said about that drama. So I am feeling a tad alone these days, knowing that I have to figure out how to do this whole baby thing with less help than usual. I am super blessed to have some great friends that have offered to help. These sweet ladies are so willing to help that it even makes me more frustrated at the people that could help with much greater ease than them but are too self absorbed to open their eyes. Bitter much.

I read this quote about how Charity is trusting that everyone is doing their best and that forgiving people when they are dumb. Mind you the quote was a little more eloquent than I am. I really struggle with that. There are some people that don't have an ounce of Charity in them. If it doesn't have a pay-off they aren't interested, if it puts them out, isn't even or fair, don't go calling them for help. I struggle thinking these people are really doing their best. I think how can you not see people around you with need. DO you and you are just too BUSY?? I might need to work on this whole everyone is doing their best thing. Or I might need some medicine to make me more mellow. :) That sounds nice.

See don't you think I need a vacation. I think I do. I need to move too. Is that too much to ask? A new house, neighborhood, school, ect? I might have some avoidance issues. Well, I big shout out to whoever called the fire dept for my neighbors house when they weren't home. That is the kind of neighbors we need. Those that look out for each other. I miss that from our old neighborhood. A big thanks to those friends that take the time to know what is going on with me and caring enough to help even when I don't NEED it, when it just makes my life a little easier. I'm sure you already know how much I love you. Those of you who don't, well, I'm sure you are doing your best. That's a start, right??

Life Questions

What's up with the world? Seems like everyone is having a happy ending and I want mine. We have been searching for a new job for 2 years now. Still looking... Watching other people move on to new jobs and new places and loving it. Meanwhile, I sit here growing slightly bitter about the waiting game.

How to you survive the waiting game? You know where you do all you can and put your trust in the Lord that things will work out?

Real trouble here is that I got the wonderful idea to save some money. Sounds like a good idea, well here is the trouble. I cut down our cell phone minutes. Let's be honest those people are trying to bankrupt us all. Well, now I have 5 days left in the month and I am totally out of minutes. I got rid of my long distance plan on the home phone to cut costs. So here I am not being able to chat with those friends of mine that keep me sane. Those friends that truly know my soul and how to talk me out of my mental breakdown. You know those friends that get spread across the country, and the world sometimes but that you still love like they live next door? Sometimes I think it is easier to talk to friends that are far away instead of friends that are close. Seems like you can be more honest because you don't have to see them at church on Sundays. You can go on acting like life is all smiley and nobody knows different. Plus, I think when they are not involved directly in a situation they can give better advice.

I need to just relax. Not something that I do well. I like to know what is coming. I like to plan ahead for things. I get a little crazy about it. Which might be why my poor husband comes home to the news that we are going out of town the next day. If I decide to go tomorrow I don't stress near as much and we just go and have fun. If I try to plan weeks in advance I almost kill myself and everyone else. See how this whole waiting game might be the death of me. I would do much better with him coming home one day and saying, "Honey, I got a new job. Pack your bags we have to be there in two weeks." That's my groove.

Germ city!!!

So I got some weird throat infection two weeks ago. It was bad, there was no swallowing. So I got a shot in the booty. It got better. Sounds all happy??? Well, now I have a huge sinus infection. My sinuses might explode. Really and I might drown in snot. Isn't it summer time? I think I need a break from being sick. My poor little #1 is super cute. She keeps asking if I feel better yet? Again, and again..... Nope sweetie not yet. Wait until my voice don't sound like an 80 year old smoker.

Anyone have some good news to share? I need some good news. One of my bestest friends just moved away from me. Great for her, I am happy for her, sad for me. I have been sick for like a million years!!! The kids go back to school soon and that makes me sad. So blog world, cheer this sick lady up!!!!