Things Aren’t Always As They Seem

Monday, October 18, 2010


Do you ever feel like if you don't vent you might explode??? I'm having that feeling today. I am so in need of a vacation from everything. Am I the only one that ever feels like that? I'm super sick of throwing up everyday and not being able to eat more then a birds serving of food at a time. It really isn't so much fun. I'm not having fun waiting to get sick. I get really bad kidney troubles and I know that sometime in the next 8 or so weeks, I will be sick and not feel good at all. Just imagine feeling like your head is going to explode and that your body is shutting down on you. That sounds like a fun time doesn't it??
I've had some breakdowns lately with people that are supposed to love and support me. They aren't, enough said about that drama. So I am feeling a tad alone these days, knowing that I have to figure out how to do this whole baby thing with less help than usual. I am super blessed to have some great friends that have offered to help. These sweet ladies are so willing to help that it even makes me more frustrated at the people that could help with much greater ease than them but are too self absorbed to open their eyes. Bitter much.
I read this quote about how Charity is trusting that everyone is doing their best and that forgiving people when they are dumb. Mind you the quote was a little more eloquent than I am. I really struggle with that. There are some people that don't have an ounce of Charity in them. If it doesn't have a pay-off they aren't interested, if it puts them out, isn't even or fair, don't go calling them for help. I struggle thinking these people are really doing their best. I think how can you not see people around you with need. DO you and you are just too BUSY?? I might need to work on this whole everyone is doing their best thing. Or I might need some medicine to make me more mellow. :) That sounds nice.
See don't you think I need a vacation. I think I do. I need to move too. Is that too much to ask? A new house, neighborhood, school, ect? I might have some avoidance issues. Well, I big shout out to whoever called the fire dept for my neighbors house when they weren't home. That is the kind of neighbors we need. Those that look out for each other. I miss that from our old neighborhood. A big thanks to those friends that take the time to know what is going on with me and caring enough to help even when I don't NEED it, when it just makes my life a little easier. I'm sure you already know how much I love you. Those of you who don't, well, I'm sure you are doing your best. That's a start, right??