Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Go big or go home!! I have been thinking about this phrase this week. I think it is totally my personality. I am a very intense person. I play hard and cry hard. If I do something I do it all the way and dedicate myself to it completely. During a discussion this week I had a friend say to me that she has friends out changing the world while she is changing diapers. ( Sorry for stealing your line..) Which got me thinking about things. It seems like all the women I know feel the need to do something other than Just be a mom. I have been feeling really bad lately that I don’t need to have some side business to make me feel worthwhile. I was thinking what is wrong with me, am I really just a lazy bum that I don’t want to go out and do something more. So when my friend said that it really got me thinking about this some more. Here is what I discovered. Because I am such an intense person I am fully dedicated to being a mom. I am exploring everything that this means. I am learning to do all kinds of homemaker crafts. I am learning to teach my kids all kinds of things from all kids of subjects. I am keeping myself and my family healthy. I am molding our country and our worlds future. I hate some days and love others. I get to feel all kinds of emotions in every single day. Last night I was holding the babe, which I do all day everyday and I don’t truly enjoy. I am not much of a baby person. Point is I was holding her last night when I really could have laid her down. It made me think of how different want to and have to are. I decided that I am a person that wants to be a mom, not someone that has to be a mom because they had kids. Don’t get me wrong some days I want to run down the street screaming but even on those days this is something that I want to do not something I have to do. I could got to work if I wanted to and feel fulfilled in doing something that I love. But for now I find my fulfillment in those dirty little faces that scream mom at me about a million times a day. MOM!!!!!
Thursday, April 9, 2009
So my friend is down visiting her mom and they are sewing up a storm. Finding new ways to use old things and all that great stuff. I love that stuff!! I like to take something and make it what I want it to be. Some people are great at following patterns and love to create that way. I however don't love it. I have to make my own pattern and have fun. I am best friends with the seam ripper, I mean that it why someone created it in the first place. I figure that I am not making heirlooms or anything so as long as they last for the size that they are now good enough. So I was inspired by my good friend down the street that made this cute dress for her daughter out of scraps from quilts. Well, I have all but abandoned my quilt for quieter times. So I thought this seemed like a good project that could be down quickly and remind me that I find it relaxing. So today I set out to make A a skirt. It is so cute. My parents were here so I cheated a bit and made my mom help and my dad wrangled the kids. I want to try this shirt dress that I saw on-line too so we will see when I get to that...
Monday, April 6, 2009
So I am so ready to move. I really don't do well in the same place for too long. I am a very casual social person but I am not very good at close long lasting relationships. It is amazing that Steve puts up with me!!! We have been here almost 2 years now and I am about to go insane. I know to the average person that doesn't seem like a long time. Well after 6 months I am usually ready to move on so this has been 4 times my comfort zone. I have just found that I expect too much from people and when they don't reach those expectations I am out. I was thinking about it and there is only one person that I haven't ever been done being friends. I usually get over my need for separation but I am in one of those funks right now where I want to run away from everyone and start all over. Maybe I should move to Maui this time. I hear they have good weather.