Reminder

So we have been struggling for a looong time with trying to find a job that better fits our family. I mean years. It has been a long hard thing for me and I have had a very hard time maintaining faith in our decision. For me it has happened in stages. First I was ok as long as the job was here and I didn’t have to change my life too much. SHOCKER. That didn’t work. Then I decided that I was willing to move but only if it was to a couple different places that I really enjoy, next time my 12 hour driving radius from where we are now. Nope still not working. It look me years to really bend my will to the Lord’s and be willing to say that I would go anywhere and do anything. And actually mean it.

These last few weeks have been very hard. We know that the husband’s job will probably only last a couple more months. They have/are restructuring at work and we have gotten some warnings that his turn will be in early June. Needless to say we have been hitting the pavement hard. Really hard, every spare moment I spend looking and applying to jobs. What’s happened? What great blessings have been poured down?? …..crickets…… One job interview in probably thirty applications. See how a person’s faith could waiver? I might have needed a reminder that I am simply waiting on the timing.

Twice this week I had a little whisper in my ear. Both times I really didn’t notice until everything was over and I could see how the choice I made with that little whisper changed the outcome. Were they life altering things, no, where they things that reminded me that the Lord does see and hear me and that he speaks to me directly, yes. It reminded me that in this very long journey that I am not forgotten. That our time and his time haven’t hit yet. It reminded me that when it does that things will work out. Things will get better. If the Lord cares about the little things that he prompted me on this week than he does care about the huge life altering things that are to come.

For me I would add that we aren’t always lead when we want to be lead, or that we don’t see that we are being led until we can look back and see the journey we have had without even noticing that we were moving.  There is a quote from the LDS conference this morning that I will try to find and post. It talks about not giving up and taking less just because that is what is in front of you. Always striving for those things the Lord has in store for you, never giving up for something less. This is something I have to remind myself everyday as I battle going forward in this journey. This week the Lord sent me some little reminders that he has a plan and that he knows me and the things going on in my life. I just need to continue to prepare myself to be ready for him to lead me where HE needs me to go. 

Spring

So I hate winter I mean I really really hate winter. I do not like the snow and I really do not like the cold. Then wonderful spring rolls around and bring with it allergies that make me want to crawl into my bed overdose on Benadryl and wake up when it is summer. But then again I am allergic to grass and I will curse you each and every single time that you mow your lawn. Really I will have some pretty intense feelings of hatred that will be floating in your direction. While I was outside being attached my all the allergies I took this picture and I love it. Isn't she cute?? It reminds me that while Spring makes my eyes water and my throat swell and snot some out of places that it should not come out of, that it is a time for new beginning. Beautiful little things reappear that have been hiding for months. Some my wonderful tulips will return and after them My garden will appear and I will be so very excited. I am having more fun everyday playing with my camera and figuring out how to use the thing. What ever happened to just taking a picture?? Oh but the many things that you can do now and so much fun.

Why I Run

While I was running this weekend, and I use the term running loosely, I thought why do I do this to myself. Granted I do enjoy a good run, I love how it feels and I enjoy the time to clear my mind and push myself physically. But what gets me to lace up my shoes?

Well what makes me put on my brace, my compression sleeves, then my shoes? I look like a real circus act when I go running. I feel bad for the people that are willing to go run with me. 

I do not run outside in the cold. That would be crazy. No cement under my feet here.

I run for my kids. I run for the life that I want to live not watch pass me by. I want to run on the beach, play soccer at the park, chase my kids down when they run away. I never want my lack of dedication to my physical health to hold me back. 

I have some physical limitations. I can’t do everything that someone else can do. I can do it in my way to my potential. That is all I expect from myself, a dedication to my physical health so that I can live life and play with my kids. 

Running is a sport I love. I won’t say that it is a “fun” sport or something that doesn’t come with some injuries. As my awesome Physical Therapist said, “If you keep running I am sure to see you again.” It is a sport that clears my mind, fills my soul and body with good feelings and strength. I am glad that after so many years I started running again. I am grateful for the life that it has given me and the life in turn that I can give to my husband and kids. It’s just a bonus that because I wear compression sleeves I don’t have to shave my legs first.