Friday Confessionals!!!

I confess:

• I went on a vacation with a super fun group of women.
• I left all the drama at home.
• It was super fun.
• There were 8 of us crazy ladies that went and we had a wonderful condo with a private deck with a hot tub all to ourselves.
• We went shopping and to this super yummy restaurant. All kid free.
• Why is this a confession??
• Well, I only invited 7 other ladies on this vacation and left everyone else at home. I might feel bad about that.
• But hey not everyone can get along for an over night trip. Some choices had to be made!
• Stop making me feel guilty!!
• To be honest I don't like most people enough to last two days with them.
• Shocker!! I am not such a long term people person.
• I'm good with short periods of time but then I'm good at home with the husband.
• It makes me sad that so many people aren't happily married.
• Really, I've discovered most people aren't.
• I sometimes want to strangle by husband but he really is my best friend and I would rather do things with him than anyone else.
• By things, I do mean things... but really I'm just talking everyday activities.
• I confess I like my husband. :)

Vent

Do you ever feel like if you don't vent you might explode??? I'm having that feeling today. I am so in need of a vacation from everything. Am I the only one that ever feels like that? I'm super sick of throwing up everyday and not being able to eat more then a birds serving of food at a time. It really isn't so much fun. I'm not having fun waiting to get sick. I get really bad kidney troubles and I know that sometime in the next 8 or so weeks, I will be sick and not feel good at all. Just imagine feeling like your head is going to explode and that your body is shutting down on you. That sounds like a fun time doesn't it??

I've had some breakdowns lately with people that are supposed to love and support me. They aren't, enough said about that drama. So I am feeling a tad alone these days, knowing that I have to figure out how to do this whole baby thing with less help than usual. I am super blessed to have some great friends that have offered to help. These sweet ladies are so willing to help that it even makes me more frustrated at the people that could help with much greater ease than them but are too self absorbed to open their eyes. Bitter much.

I read this quote about how Charity is trusting that everyone is doing their best and that forgiving people when they are dumb. Mind you the quote was a little more eloquent than I am. I really struggle with that. There are some people that don't have an ounce of Charity in them. If it doesn't have a pay-off they aren't interested, if it puts them out, isn't even or fair, don't go calling them for help. I struggle thinking these people are really doing their best. I think how can you not see people around you with need. DO you and you are just too BUSY?? I might need to work on this whole everyone is doing their best thing. Or I might need some medicine to make me more mellow. :) That sounds nice.

See don't you think I need a vacation. I think I do. I need to move too. Is that too much to ask? A new house, neighborhood, school, ect? I might have some avoidance issues. Well, I big shout out to whoever called the fire dept for my neighbors house when they weren't home. That is the kind of neighbors we need. Those that look out for each other. I miss that from our old neighborhood. A big thanks to those friends that take the time to know what is going on with me and caring enough to help even when I don't NEED it, when it just makes my life a little easier. I'm sure you already know how much I love you. Those of you who don't, well, I'm sure you are doing your best. That's a start, right??

Life Questions

What's up with the world? Seems like everyone is having a happy ending and I want mine. We have been searching for a new job for 2 years now. Still looking... Watching other people move on to new jobs and new places and loving it. Meanwhile, I sit here growing slightly bitter about the waiting game.

How to you survive the waiting game? You know where you do all you can and put your trust in the Lord that things will work out?

Real trouble here is that I got the wonderful idea to save some money. Sounds like a good idea, well here is the trouble. I cut down our cell phone minutes. Let's be honest those people are trying to bankrupt us all. Well, now I have 5 days left in the month and I am totally out of minutes. I got rid of my long distance plan on the home phone to cut costs. So here I am not being able to chat with those friends of mine that keep me sane. Those friends that truly know my soul and how to talk me out of my mental breakdown. You know those friends that get spread across the country, and the world sometimes but that you still love like they live next door? Sometimes I think it is easier to talk to friends that are far away instead of friends that are close. Seems like you can be more honest because you don't have to see them at church on Sundays. You can go on acting like life is all smiley and nobody knows different. Plus, I think when they are not involved directly in a situation they can give better advice.

I need to just relax. Not something that I do well. I like to know what is coming. I like to plan ahead for things. I get a little crazy about it. Which might be why my poor husband comes home to the news that we are going out of town the next day. If I decide to go tomorrow I don't stress near as much and we just go and have fun. If I try to plan weeks in advance I almost kill myself and everyone else. See how this whole waiting game might be the death of me. I would do much better with him coming home one day and saying, "Honey, I got a new job. Pack your bags we have to be there in two weeks." That's my groove.

Germ city!!!

So I got some weird throat infection two weeks ago. It was bad, there was no swallowing. So I got a shot in the booty. It got better. Sounds all happy??? Well, now I have a huge sinus infection. My sinuses might explode. Really and I might drown in snot. Isn't it summer time? I think I need a break from being sick. My poor little #1 is super cute. She keeps asking if I feel better yet? Again, and again..... Nope sweetie not yet. Wait until my voice don't sound like an 80 year old smoker.

Anyone have some good news to share? I need some good news. One of my bestest friends just moved away from me. Great for her, I am happy for her, sad for me. I have been sick for like a million years!!! The kids go back to school soon and that makes me sad. So blog world, cheer this sick lady up!!!!

Brace yourself...

I confess:

• I type so much on my phone, that corrects my spelling and conjunctions, that I get confused when I type on a computer.
• Like hello, why can't it make my cant can't. My phone can, step it up computer.
• I think I offend people all the time.
• I just say what I think
• And what you should think...
• No not really, you can think whatever you want.
• I also tend to call people out when the contradicted their options and their actions.
• It's a pet peeve.
• Don't act all holy then whore it on the weekend.
• I'd still love you even if you whored it all the time.
• Just be real.
• I am not a good forgiver.
• Things are deal breakers for me.
• Once you have proven that you are a crazy, or a liar, or disloyal, your out.
• No real chance for redemption.
• I'm a Christian.
• Hum, maybe I should call myself out, that seems that a contradiction.
• Nah, I'm immune from my own scolding.
• Isn't that how it works???

I commit

So I had an interesting conversation with one of my teenage cousins this week. You see, I was looking at vacation pictures of one of my friends. Wait, let's back up a little bit. I'm Mormon. Are you suprised... Anyways, as some people might know we have some pretty conservative standards when it comes to clothing. Not that we don't wear swimming suits or anything crazy like that. But ours shorts and shirts are a little longer than most and our shoulders are covered. Cleavage hanging out isn't really something that happens either, not that I have a challenge with that.

Back to my story. So I was looking at these pictures and I noticed that every single women there had on these tiny little swimsuits on. You know the ones that might jump right off your body if you actually got in the water. Yep all six of them. Now I am a pretty modest person. So I called my cousin to see if that is just the way Mormons act these days. I was relieved when she told me that it wasn't. She herself has made the decision to only wear one piece suits, and she feels like there is no reason not to wear one piece suits. She says there are tons of cute ones out there. That gave me some hope for my girls.

This whole world of instant photo posting and facebook we get a look into people's lives. I have really been shocked with people lately and how they aren't living up to commitments that they have made. That sounds harsh. That's not what I mean. It just scares me that people that I know have made commitments to themselves and God are making choices that are different than what they believe. It breaks my heart when I see little baby girls dressed in things that you would never let your teenager out of the house wearing. Why is their little body worth less respect, it isn't cute, it's disrespectful.

Now if you believe something different than I do, more power to you. I don't expect you to live my life or my commitment. I don't believe that makes you or me a better person than the other. Anyone that knows me knows that I am not out to make people live the standards that I have chosen. See that is the point, I have chosen them, you have chosen yours. What makes me scared is that I am raising three little girls that will soon be teenagers. Yep all at the same time, I might need a padded room by then. What makes me scared is that there are people that they will know that have committed to the same lifestyle as them that will be not living up to those commitments. How do you explain that to a teenage girl? That other girls and even women that made the same choices as them are dressing in a way that isn't consistent with those choices. It's easy for me to tell them that other families have different family rules and we have ours. But what happens when those rules are supposed to be the same?? Oh the future is scary.

Back on the Wagon

A little late but I'm here!!

I confess:

1. I hate drama

2. Just tell me you hate me, don't act nice then dog me behind my back, I can take it.

3. I need a major kid free vacation.

4. Summer off school is kicking my trash.

5. I truly might explode if I hear, I'm bored one more time!!!

6. Most people I think should just go away.

7. I just "dumped" some FB friends.

8. GASP.

9. I know right aren't you suppose to strive for a super high number???

10. Really if I wouldn't invite you over and all I want to do is peak into your life.... Maybe not.

11. I've missed my blog buddies.

12. Wish they would invent a virtual lunch.

13. You know, so we could all go to lunch together.

14. That sounds fun.

15. I think I'll go get a slurpee, they make me less grumpy.

16. Lady trouble=More grumpy!!