So we have been struggling for a looong time with trying to find a job that better fits our family. I mean years. It has been a long hard thing for me and I have had a very hard time maintaining faith in our decision. For me it has happened in stages. First I was ok as long as the job was here and I didn’t have to change my life too much. SHOCKER. That didn’t work. Then I decided that I was willing to move but only if it was to a couple different places that I really enjoy, next time my 12 hour driving radius from where we are now. Nope still not working. It look me years to really bend my will to the Lord’s and be willing to say that I would go anywhere and do anything. And actually mean it.
These last few weeks have been very hard. We know that the husband’s job will probably only last a couple more months. They have/are restructuring at work and we have gotten some warnings that his turn will be in early June. Needless to say we have been hitting the pavement hard. Really hard, every spare moment I spend looking and applying to jobs. What’s happened? What great blessings have been poured down?? …..crickets…… One job interview in probably thirty applications. See how a person’s faith could waiver? I might have needed a reminder that I am simply waiting on the timing.
Twice this week I had a little whisper in my ear. Both times I really didn’t notice until everything was over and I could see how the choice I made with that little whisper changed the outcome. Were they life altering things, no, where they things that reminded me that the Lord does see and hear me and that he speaks to me directly, yes. It reminded me that in this very long journey that I am not forgotten. That our time and his time haven’t hit yet. It reminded me that when it does that things will work out. Things will get better. If the Lord cares about the little things that he prompted me on this week than he does care about the huge life altering things that are to come.
For me I would add that we aren’t always lead when we want to be lead, or that we don’t see that we are being led until we can look back and see the journey we have had without even noticing that we were moving. There is a quote from the LDS conference this morning that I will try to find and post. It talks about not giving up and taking less just because that is what is in front of you. Always striving for those things the Lord has in store for you, never giving up for something less. This is something I have to remind myself everyday as I battle going forward in this journey. This week the Lord sent me some little reminders that he has a plan and that he knows me and the things going on in my life. I just need to continue to prepare myself to be ready for him to lead me where HE needs me to go.