Intense

Go big or go home!! I have been thinking about this phrase this week. I think it is totally my personality. I am a very intense person. I play hard and cry hard. If I do something I do it all the way and dedicate myself to it completely. During a discussion this week I had a friend say to me that she has friends out changing the world while she is changing diapers. ( Sorry for stealing your line..) Which got me thinking about things. It seems like all the women I know feel the need to do something other than Just be a mom. I have been feeling really bad lately that I don’t need to have some side business to make me feel worthwhile. I was thinking what is wrong with me, am I really just a lazy bum that I don’t want to go out and do something more. So when my friend said that it really got me thinking about this some more. Here is what I discovered. Because I am such an intense person I am fully dedicated to being a mom. I am exploring everything that this means. I am learning to do all kinds of homemaker crafts. I am learning to teach my kids all kinds of things from all kids of subjects. I am keeping myself and my family healthy. I am molding our country and our worlds future. I hate some days and love others. I get to feel all kinds of emotions in every single day. Last night I was holding the babe, which I do all day everyday and I don’t truly enjoy. I am not much of a baby person. Point is I was holding her last night when I really could have laid her down. It made me think of how different want to and have to are. I decided that I am a person that wants to be a mom, not someone that has to be a mom because they had kids. Don’t get me wrong some days I want to run down the street screaming but even on those days this is something that I want to do not something I have to do. I could got to work if I wanted to and feel fulfilled in doing something that I love. But for now I find my fulfillment in those dirty little faces that scream mom at me about a million times a day. MOM!!!!!