Choices

So years and years ago I was graduating from college. I wasn't married and wasn't really in a serious relationship. It was one of the scariest things to me. Not that I wasn't married but that I was done with school and I had no one but myself to decide where I wanted to go and what I wanted to do. When I went to college I was underage and I had two choices of where to go. Stay home or go with my sister to where she was. I chose to go away. So this was the first time that I ever really felt like I could go anywhere and do anything.

I did get married and supported him through grad school. So with that we went where he needed to go for school, and where he got a job after school. Things kind of have just moved along without much effort on my part for the last 11 years. One job lead to another we moved but not very far from where we lived before. Life has been pretty regular.

Then BAM! Time for something new. The husband and I have talked about how we need to make a move. How we need to find a new job and move forward in his career path. I am blessed to get to stay home with the kids so it has been my job to help prepare them for the next step in our families journey. Thing is, we still don't know where that step will lead us.

This takes me back to the scary feelings that I had as a young adult leaving college. We have looked at jobs all over the country. Applications have been put in at all kinds of companies, cities, towns, states, so many places so many choices. I am a bit of a planner. I like to research things and be prepared for when they happen. The last few weeks I have been trying to let go of that. There are too many choices, too many places that we have the possibility of going. As an LDS person I believe that the Lord has a path and a plan for us. I have been trying so hard to figure out what that next step is and where it will be.

What I have learned from these two adventures? One that isn't near over yet. Well, I have learned that it rarely works out like you think that it will. Then all that planning and all that control that you thought you have go flying out the window. When the timing lines up and things work out, it is so much better than you ever could have imagined. The road there is often really hard. I have been so frustrated and down the last few weeks. I have reminded myself of that young college graduate and how the choices I made led me to the most wonderful man and the most wonderful career I could have ever hoped for. So for now, I will keep the faith, do my part, and repeat in my head over and over, "Be still and know that I am God."