Pampered

So today I had to do an MRI. You know that little tube that they stick you in and pretend that it is not so small. I think it must feel something like being buried alive. I did get some medicine to help me relax and I made sure that I kept my eyes closed the whole time. It was a long 45 min.

When I got home I had to stay out of sight. You see my baby needs nursing and the meds I took are not so good for baby. I guess that are a cat D which is so not good to take nursing, but I tell you, she seems ok without nursing and I for sure would not be ok in that moving coffin without drugs. A day without the baby.

Are you ready for the mother of the year part of this story? It has been so lovely not to be in charge of the little one. She is sooo fast these days and always into something. On the flip side she will get into this thing when she will not let me put her down. I might be getting some get arm muscles but I might also be going insane. So I was soo happy to have a day free. No nursing, no holding, and no crying.

I am not sure that I am willing to ever get in that tube again, even for a day free of baby responsibilities. So thanks to my husband for taking such great care of me.

I am super MOM

So I am feeling pretty good today. See #3 has dance class today, which used to be Tuesday. That worked out really well because #2 was at school, now he has to come with us. We were at dance having a good old time while #2 as playing away on the iphone, when BAM. #3 decides that she wants #2 to be her helper. Since it is a mommy and me class everyone has a helper. So these two little babies of mine were dancing around together having a good old time, thinking that the other one was wonderful. You see the these are moments to remember. When they are playing well together and having a lovely time. So today, I am a good mother that has kids that love each other. Just don't call me tomorrow and ask me the same thing. So today I am thankful for kid # 2 and kid #3. Love you two!!

#2 and #3

I think I missed yesterday so I am trying to think of two things that I am thankful for. It is harder than you might think. So tonight here are my things.

My husband

he puts the kids to bed

takes care of me when i am sick

loves to come home, even when I am grumpy

makes me laugh

My friends

they all teach me something special

help me be a better person

take care of me when i need it

let me take care of them

don't judge me

What a WHINER!

So I feel like I have been a bit of a whiner lately. I hate this and that and everyone is stupid. I am not saying that I don't hate like 99% of my life right now and don't think that 99% of the people I know are stupid. That is most likely the truth. Don't you want to move in and be my neighbor? Life has been pretty hard lately. There have been a lot of things going on. Anyone that knows me knows that I am not a talker. I am more of a, yes my right hand is hanging by just skin, how has your day been, nice weather we are having. Not one to talk about my real troubles, I will whine but you usually never get a real good idea of what is wrong. I do it to myself. Somewhere along the way I just don't trust people with my feelings. I am just sure they are waiting to abandon me or betray me. Don't take it personal it is more of a blanket statement.

I am thinking what can I do to get out of this rut. You see you can't change where you live or your kids or the people around you. My mother went through some tough stuff in her past and was told she had situational depression. Well, good to know, but are you supposed to sit around and wait for you situation to change? What if your situation doesn't have a change in sight, what if your situation is just life? So I am going to try and be more thankful for what is good. I know that it isn't going to be easy and sometimes my things are going to be dumb. Sometimes you can't find anything else to be happy about but that you had shampoo in the shower. So here goes day one.

I am thankful for

BEDTIME

love it when it is quiet

I get time to sit

means I am not in charge

I get at least a few minutes of sleep

I made it through the day