Things Aren’t Always As They Seem

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Just Listen

Sooo.... I had one of those parent moments this week. You know the ones that make you feel like maybe the worst parent ever. Hum, am I the only one?? Intrigued yet?
Number one was having a super hard time with school. This has been going on for I would say about a month. There has been some drama at school with teachers leaving and such. I assumed that was the trouble. It however kept going on and on. So then I decided that #1 was just bored at school. Poor thing just misses the deadline and really I should have let them move #1 up a year but that was too fast for me. That is my baby you know, slow down that growing up please!! Rambling.
Then #1 did start mentioning some trouble with some kids at school. But you see number one is super sensitive and gets upset when people don't follow the letter of the law. Not sure where that comes from cause mama is soo not like that. All these incidents seemed like they could be explained by overly sensitive feelings.
The real kisser. Last week #1 came home from school and had a great story about an interaction with some kids. BAM! Everything fell in place. I could see now how this was a thing that was building up to something that was really upsetting #1. I could see how all the things that were said over the last month made sense. How it all fit together and that this is what was really going on with #1.
Now mind you nothing really big has ever happened. Nobody ever started to bleed or cry or anything. So don't go calling somebody about how I let my kids get tortured at school and I sit home and eat chocolate, which I can't even have so there!
LESSON LEARNED. Listen to your kids, I mean really listen. So many times we think they are just being difficult or having a challenging personality. Which yes sometimes is all too true, however sometimes it is something more. I would venture to say that usually if you really listen, even to the tiny ones, they are doing things for a reason. There is some reason that they are being difficult or don't want to play with certain kids. I used to be so good at this, you know back when there was only #1. Not so much anymore. They hear, "Just get in the car, we are late!" all to much. I learned I need to slow down and listen to what they are really saying to me. Then I need to do what I can to make their lives better, easier, and happier. They can fight some battles by themselves and should. I think we all know life is hard, they get that from the world. Their mama is supposed to protect and love them. Promise next time I will not take so long to really hear what you are saying to me my love.


Liseylew said...

oh I love this :( Its soooo easy to get wrapped up in life that we just dont pay attention when we should. Inspiring blog.. Thank you :)

Glamazon said...

Ah, such good advice. It was so much easier when there was only one, huh? I think I'm a fantastic mom to one kid, and barely sliding by 4. Very insightful, great post!

Jaymi said...

Thanks! I need all the advice I can get!! I think I'll go listen right now, If I can just get them to talk. It seems to always be opposite day @ my house, when I want to talk they dont when they want to talk I'm too busy.....

Tanada said...

I'm going to listen more Stacey, I think you are right. It's just easier for us to say it's them when really it comes from us naturally slackening up due to life and stress and lets face it more kids. Hang in there. You are an amazing mother and a wonderful example to me. You always keep me on my toes.